Hurrying Times for Annoyance
by England11247
Summary: It was a regular night, a quiet night. One of those nights when all you could hear was Austria playing the piano with a gentle tune. Complete crack story full of hilarity.


**No idea where I even began to write this. Purely a cracktastic story full of so much crack your gonna feel higher then-okay enough cheesy jokes. Onward with the story. :D**

It was a regular night, a quiet night. One of those nights when all you could hear was Austria playing the piano with a gentle tune. England sat back with a cup of tea in his hand and listened to the music. He was suddenly taken out of his thoughts when a knock was heard at his door. With a sigh and roll of his eyes he went to go answer it. England opened the door and with wide eyes he stared at what was standing outside his door, "Yo, Bro!"

America smiled largley at him and pushed passed him. "Wh-" He was cut off by Japan entering his home with a small bow. England's eye twitched and then he felt someone push pass him again, "I have pasta!" Italy's large childesh smile shone brightly. England shut the door with a confused look. America strode in and began to look around before plopping in Englands favorite chair. Japan sat down on the loveseat infront of him with a quiet demeanor, and Italy sat down in the floor laughing about something. They began to make small talk with one another. America smiling and going on about something and England took in note that Japan talked about the cat man, Greece. England watched them with an angry expression, repeating over and over in his head that he will control his anger.

"I like Greece and his cat ears." Japan was saying.

Italy looked at him brightly, "I agree with Japan!" He yelled loudly and England coughed. With a quick turn they all stared at him, then with a thump America stood, "Oh, hey dude! I didn't even notice you there!" America smirked and sat back down. "...America...you never notice anything..and Japan..that is lovely.." England walked over by his kitchen entrance. "It is indeed quite lovely." Japans voice was quiet and meek. The silence in the room began to take over, and England who was having a nice night desided that he should atleast attempt to keep his good mood. "Thank you!" America replied to his comment, England sweat dropped and looked at him. "It wasn't a compliment America." His good mood was almost gone and with a quick idea he brightened up, "I am going to make us all scones!" With a small smile he walked in the kitchen and began to make his (Cough cough disgusting cough cough) scones. Out of hearing distance Italy looked up with a shocked and scared face, "Oh god! Keep him out of the kitchen!" He stood up clumisly and ran torwards the kitchen, "ENGLAND, ENGLAND! DON'T MAKE ANYTHING! I-I brought..pasta.." England walked out and smiled with his tray of scones. Japan was sitting quietly eating some sushi he had brought, "..Scones..?" He asked when he saw the tray.

America, who was playing with his finger nails as if they were tiny alians looked up, "Sure it was a compliment! I ain't eating no scones!" He cried. England looked at Italy with amusement, "Yes, but my scones are finished, and go ahead. Eat your pasta. My food is much better anyway." He turned and sat down before handing America and Japan a couple of scones.

Japan calmly looked at the food, and took a bite of his sushi. "No thank you." Japan looked back down but was taken aback by England's sudden sadness.

His face carrased a frown, "You..don't...want..my...food..?" England stared intensly at Japan with a frown. Japan still taken aback turned and looked at Italy for assistance. Italy quickly glanced around with panic, "H-he's allergic..to scones!" Italy's high pitched voice echoed through out Englands walls and he curled up into a small ball, "AH! DON'T HURT ME!" He raised up a white flag and England blinked before clearing his throat, "...Well..more for me then." He bit into one, "Your missing out though, How terribly tragic that you are allergic to such delcious food." He shook his head and nodded torwards America to take a bite. America looked down at the scone with disgust and with a sick look he raised it up to his mouth, "Fine.." He took a bite and almost gagged. England smiled brightly, "Mmm, quite good indeed." He took another bite. Japan watched America and sighed, "..I'm grateful." With a small barley visible smile he took the last peice of sushi into his mouth. America, who was choking down another bite began to turn green, "Dude..this..is sick.." America said.

Italy who was watching it all with a curious face stood and whispered to Japan, "Is America going to survive this?" He asked and Japan shook his head, "I don't think so.." He whispered back. England glanced at America and his face darkened when he noticed the gagging, "Are..you..gagging..because..of...my...scones..?" He turned to Japan, "Are..you really allergic..?" He looked down with agony, "You aren't are you?" America quickly spit out the food while he wasn't looking and Japan tried to put on a reasuring face. "I-I am allergic.." He said quickly. England looked up, his depressing expression still not gone.

He then stood up and began to walk torwards the kitchen again, "I suppose..I will...go and make some tea then.." He walked slowly into the kitchenbut was stopped by Italy's voice, "Y-YES! HE IS VERY ALLERGIC!" England stopped and with a small smile poked his head back out. "Do you promise old chap?"He asked and America coughed awkwardly, "Me too! I'm allergic too..how did I not know?!" He said desperatly. Japan gave a quick nod, "I promise. Believe me." The room was silent for a few moments before England nodded, "Well, okay then! More for me!" He took another in his mouth. Italy wiped imaginary sweat off his forehead and whispered to his self, "Whew that was close."

He then made a 'gag' sign torward Japan. Meanwhile America pulled out a magical cheeseburger and began to chomp on it, getting the disgusting flavor of scone out of his mouth. England looked over the mass of scones and got an idea, "I wonder if Germany would like one, I made so many..or perhaps China." He stood up and began to walk to the door, "I will be back soon." He opened the door but was stopped by Germany, He coughed, "What about Germany?" Germany's tall figure looked down at England with a slightyl superficial face. England, having a good night smiled, "Ah! Germany!" He handed him a scone, "I was just about to leave to offer you some!" America ran over and grabbed England's hand "Woah, man. No." He said and England turned to him slightly but America was distracted because Japan asked for one of his 'magic cheeseburgers'.

Germany looked at the scone with a disgusted expression,England turned to America who was handed Japan a burger moved his hand off of him. "o not handle me in such a way America! Now, here Germany." He handed him another. "Uh, Nein I am good... Danke though.." He said and pushed the scone back. " I am in a strange good mood tonight and I believe this-...are you allergic too Germany?" He stopped and looked at Germany with a shocked expression. Meanwhile, Italy pulled 'magic pasta' out of his shirt and offered it to Japan.

" I'll take that too, Italy. I have a large stomach." He chuckled and began to eat on the magic foods.

Germany walked in a sighed, "Ja! Und if I eat something I am er, allergic to, vell, I uh, I BLOW UP!" He told England. Japan looked at them seriously, "... Germany blow up? That's intriguing." He said and Italy looked at Germany with shock, "Like an explosion?" He asked with a scared tone. Germany turned to them both, "J-Ja!" He said and England looked down with dissapointment. America looked at him sadly but quickly came out of it, "uhhh I'll take some of that pasta, Italy dude!" He put out his hand and Italy laughed loudly, " YAY! PASTA FOR EVERYONE!" Italy, may I metion..very camly reached into his...ahem...pants...and pulled out some pasta.

Germany's eyes widened and his mouth dropped (along with England..Japan just smiled and America didn't even notice) "ITALYYYYYY! VHAT IS SOMETHING LIKE ZHAT DOING IN A PLACE LIKE ZHAT?!" His voice boomed and Italy smiled, " It keeps it warm they do it at Japan's place with shoes!" Italy replied and England looked at him with wide eyes, "What the..bloody..hell.." Japan blushed slightly.

"VELL ZHEY DON'T DO IT T YOURS NOW DO ZHEY?" Germany yelled and America who NEVER NOTICES ANYTHING grabbed the bowl from Italy, "Thanks!" He smiled. Italy turned to England, "Sometimes i guess what's wrong with it?Britain! do you want some pasta too?" England looked with horror at America and snatched the bowl from his hands, "Do not eat this vile food!" He yelled and turned back to Italy, "Not from your genital area, so no thank you..I-" Italy's lip quivered and soon enough he began to cry. England frowned, "Oh, good lord..I need a drink." He stood and went to the kitchen to get a drink. Germany pinched the brink of Italy's nose, "Italy.." He sighed, "Do I really HAVE to EXPLAIN vhat is wrong with zhat?" He asked and Italy nodded, tears trinkeling down his face. "I see nothing wrong with it." Japan spoke up. England walked in and rolled his eyes at Italy before taking a sip of his drink, Italy in return cried harder. "BRITIAN! VILL YOU STOP MAKING HIM CRY FOR HALF AN HOUR! " He sighed again and wiped away Italy's tears. "Are you alright, Italia?" Germany asked. "I was just trying to be helpful and friendly." Italy answered. America stole his pasta back and Japan pulled out a bottle of sake, "Drink this, you should feel better soon." He handed a glass to Italy. Italy took it happily and England sat down his glass, which was now empty.

"You know Uni.." He began looking into a corner. "I do believe you are my only friend." He suddenly smiled and laughed, "Oh, you sloshnoggin U! Yes, I do believe the world is made that way Uni!" He smiled larger and the room turned to him with a confused expression, "... England... who are you talking to...?..." Japan asked and Germany sighed, "He's drunk again.. Doesn't take much does it America?". America frowned, "No... Actually... He DOES know how to party... " He said but was startled by a large crash, Italy was standing on the coffee table with a large smile and sake in his hand. " "Wh-what is this stuff!" He smiled largley. Germany turned to Japan with a face red of anger, "VHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM?" He yelled

. Japan smiled, "Sake." He replied.

"Why tink! Your here too! How was your day today, was hook mean to you again?" England rampled on, "I want more!" Italy cried. Japan nodded as he poured Italy another glass, "I know...Germany is very loud and obnoxious Tink." England slurred. Italy began to drink happily and Germany turned to England, "ME? lOUD UND OBNOXIOUS? VHY YOU LITTLE..." He was cut off by Italy asking for the whole bottle and Japan gengorly giving it too him. " Look herrez Hook I tell you what, do not play a trick on...peter..NO TINK! I wasssss a pirate once dammit!" England poited torwards the wall. "I want what hes got." America said with a smirk. Germany sighed, "I'll go und get ze asprin." He walked out of the house as Italy began to down the bottle of Sake. England looked up at the slam of the door and staggered over to Italy before hugging him, "You..are...my friend.." He told him holding on to him tightly. America wiggled his eyebrows, and Japan stayed quiet, only to pull out a camera to start taking pictures of the scene.

"YOUR MY FRIEND TO ENGLAND!" He cried and Germany walked in and his mouth flew open at the display before him. " NIEN!" He yelled and Italy looked around, " h-hey...lets have a sparkle party..." He slurred. England on the other hand feel off the table and cried, " I'M ARTHUR KIRKLAND!" before he put an eyepatch on. Italy soon joined him on the floor, " I WANNA BE A PIRATE TO!" Italy screamed. Germany growled as his face grew red with anger and his fists clenched, Japan sat sliently, and America watched England.

"GERMANY! GUESS WHAT!" Italy cried, "You need to be sober?" Germany said through clenched teeth. "Nope!" Italy stood and staggered over before throwing a bown of pasta at him, "PASSTTA!" Germany side stepped the bowl, " Italy I zhink we need to go home... Come on Japan.." He said but Italy began to scream, " b-but! ITS FUN HERE!" He yelled and began to run only to be caught by Germany, "NO!" England cried, "ITALY IS MY FIRST MATE NOW!" He yelled and Italy pulled out of Germany's arms. "YAAAYYY!" Italy cried. England began to sing, " There is no vay in hell he is going to be your first mate. Make oh I don't know, AMERICA do it?" Germany cried and Clenched his fists tighter at Italy singing along with England. America got a sad expression on his face and England turned to him, "Oh, go run to Tony.." He told him and turned to Germany, "You are loud and obnoxious!" Then to Italy, "And your..my..first mate.." And finally to Japan, "You and that Greece guy fantasize about each other! And I am-" With a thump he passed out and hit the floor. Italy began to ramble on about something to America while Germany began too yell, and then out of nowhere the door swung open, "Hello, mon cheres! Ohonhonhohn My gay senses are tingling so I 'ave decided to jzion in, no?" France walked in his cloak (COUGH COUGH CAPE! COUGH) Swinging.

"Yo France." America said and Germany grabbed Italy before leaving. "Hello, America!" He smiled and noticed England on the floor, "Shall you do ze 'onors?" He wiggled his eyebrows as he pointed to the now waking up England, as he rose he groaned, "...Never...drinking..again..." He muttered but was stopped by France's laugh and the pulling of his shirt. When he looked up France was pulling his shirt off, America ran and attempted to slap his hand away but was beat by England who hit France hard over the head

. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU DISGUSTING SNOGGERWAGON! GET YOUR GRUMMY HANDS OFF OF ME!" He backed away and quickly put his shirt back on. France smiled and turned to a very angry America, "Ahh, you want ze 'onors? No?" France asked and America blushed a deep scarlett, "N-no! NO!" He yelled and England looked at them both, "NO ONE IS GOING TO GET THE HONORS!" He screamed with an eye twitching. "BUT YOU VOULD 'AVE LIKED IT SOO!" France pouted and mocked. England, who had enough already turned to France, " I am going to curse you! Curse you!" He yelled as black cloud formed around him, his voice became a chant, " Lottie Cottie Hocus Pocus micheal angelo, harry mary, champer of secrets! I curse you France!" He chanted and America grabbed his hand, "woah, none of that black magic stuff, bro... " He said and England pulled his hands back with a glare.

"Vell, I 'ave to get back to my little polar bear anyways! Auf wa!" He chucked and whispered to America, "Be ze way, your frerre is AMAZING in bed!" And with that he left. The house was silent after that, and England groaned, "..I'm..going to bed.." He muttered before leaving America alone. Now I know what your thinking, Italy and Germany went home and had yoai love, Japan Joined Greece and fantasized again, and America joined England in his bed. Well, silly hetalia fan! To tell you the truth the only action anyone got that night was Austria, who made sweet sweet love to his piano. Chow everyone! :3

**Again. I don't even know. ^.^ Feel high yet? **


End file.
